Cause I really feel bad. Like so so bad & I just want to cry. 

Sigh.

Sometimes, I really don't know if I really am THAT stupid or just plain dumb....

When people ask me for help, I wouldn't hesitate or think twice before answering 'sure, why not?'

Unless to the stuffs i really can't do, Then I truly am sorry. But If it's the things I can, I would definitely say yes & help out.

Yes, Speaking of help.. I really don't know if I really am HELPING.. or letting people use me..

That's what I don't know about & will also never think of it that way. Well.. maybe but most of the time ,never. Because using is such a strong word. It hurts people.. & I don't like hurting people's feelings.

Got lectured by a person today.. & that's when I thought.. Was i being used or was i just being really nice & just helping out..

The main reason is, using all my own ingredients instead of buying ingredients for me to use. They did buy some, & I did mention. But most main ingredients are all from me.. so.. I really never think of any negative thing though. I just used all my own & do it all myself. but when someone lectured me.... I began to think more & out of the box.. & now I really am feeling damn bad about it.. & also sad about it... sigh..

WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO. OMG. WHY IS IT SO COMPLICATED.

CAN I JUST DIE. OMG. UGHH. 

Having this kind of shitty feeling every single day..

I don't know what I'm suppose to do...

It's all about the money isn't it...... Is it THAT important....

IDK SERIOUSLY. FEELING SO HELPLESS.

OMGGGGGGG. 

xx
Will you catch me if I fall?
Will you hug me if I cry?