Will you smile each time you see me?


Saturday, September 21, 2013
Crying on my this day, as usual at 1:10 AM

Ever year it seems like when it's near to my birthday I'll get all sort of bad stuffs.
Not exactly bad.. But sad & heartbroken stuffs, that will make me cry. & yep, on my birthday.. Like.. It's predictable already. Almost ever year since I came to teen hood. Damn my teen hood life.

I didn't know what to react to all the wishes & calls I got.. I'm truly sorry to everyone. I just simply reply & all. I just don't have the mood.. Because my reaction since 7:30 pm was, "I need to cry, full of tears in my eyes" because my dad called me & lecture me about cheer.( that I just joined like yesterday.. okay......) Like what the heck man.. I truly am speechless.. Why can't you just let me do what I really want & what makes me happy? It's like everything I do is wrong & bad.. I really don't know how to say or make you understand.. But I just hope you know. 

Anyways, I'll just stop here, thank you everyone for the wishes & calls. Much appreciated.. Thank you.

& goodnight , xx
xx
Will you catch me if I fall?
Will you hug me if I cry?



Friday, September 20, 2013
When tears come streaming down your face, at 1:05 AM

It's been two years since I last cheer-ed I think. I really can't remember as my memory is really bad.
Somehow, 
Don't mind me.

Ohwells, first day w Bullets. 
It was really exciting & fun.
At first I really felt super duper nervous but then.. Yep. It got okay.. I guess. heh.

Was looking forward to the next practice till.. Yep, you got it right. DAD DECIDED TO CALL & ruin my whole entire mood. (As usual) me, always worrying about the same old thing. "Parents calling".
Sigh.. The thing I'm most afraid of..

& yep, he scold & keep on asking where am I & what I'm doing & all. And like I say, even if I told you, you wouldn't know. & then you were like, you are the one who's getting tossed up isn't it? (It was rather shocking when he said that) then I said yep. & he's like DONT YOU EVER DARE JOIN. YOU THINK ITS VERY FUN?! GETTING TOSSED? ( it truly is fun, for me. You don't know me, you never were in my shoes & you will never be. So who are you to judge?) I was in silence. & then he said YOU BETTER COME BACK NOW!!! & i paused.. & in silence again.. & he repeat.. & I just said yea.

Mhmm, so that's how it went.

I know dad, it is dangerous. I do know. But can't you just trust me? In things I do & the people I'm with? This is like the issues with you guys. Can't you just be okay with it? So we'll be like, I happy, you happy, everybody happy. -the end-.

But somehow, no. You just can't let me.
Sigh. I don't know how. 
I really don't..
xx
Will you catch me if I fall?
Will you hug me if I cry?



Thursday, September 12, 2013
I don't know, at 11:42 PM

I was really sad, when it occurred to me that you were purposely ignoring me, & I never thought that it would be that reason. The reason that could've already been a long time ago,( the reason that I thought, maybe it was just me thinking too much) but who knows, it really is..

It's just weird don't you think? Could've just told me if you disliked me. Seriously. 
I'm really hurt now, losing such a close friend. For THAT kind of reason. Sigh, 

I guess this is life, losing the important people's in your life, knowing you can't keep them forever/for long. That's how it is.

This is reality. 
xx
Will you catch me if I fall?
Will you hug me if I cry?




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