 Saturday, August 17, 2013
 Terrified at 9:39 PMI watched perks of being a wallflower yesterday.. During the evening. You see things, & you understand. You're a wallflower. - quote #1 Then, I had this dream today, when I was asleep.. That dream was about Someone close/dear to me dies in a tragic accident. She was sent to the hospital immediately. When she was about to go to the hospital room, she woke up (full of blood all over) & she was yelling/moaning/crying, she was freaked out.. & so was I.. Looking at her like that.. (In my dream). Then.. She passed away. Weirdest thing is, - I don't know what accident was it. - I don't know how or why she suddenly died/pass away. - I knew there were two person with her, but don't know who are they & where they were. I was so freaked out, because I know who was it, & then I woke up..& I thought.. Thought that it was real.. I was so freaking afraid.. & then.. She talked to me this morning.. I didn't even dare to look at her. I was so freaked out at her freaked out look in the hospital.. I was so scared & terrified.. o.m.g. Another, My mom & sister. I was suppose to go photoshooting tomorrow, & I already said okay to the photographer. & so he found a makeup artist for me & all. He prepared everything, & guess what? I'm not allowed to go. Wtfbbq man. Sigh. My chances seems to fly far away from me every time when I have it, Seems like the things you want are the things that are most hard to get. Like no matter how hard you try, you just can't. There'll always be something there stopping you. & the funniest part is, you just let it stop you instead of just pushing it away.. & it's all because of some people out there in this world, what the hell is wrong with their brains? Can't they just do good. Like wtf. Fucking society. Even the goods are like bad now. This world can't be trusted, that's why. Even good chances can be gone in a flash. Sigh, life. Seriously. Even if you didn't know what I was talking about or know someone who's gone through it, you made me not feel alone. Because I know there are people who say all these things don't happen. And there are people who forget what it's like to be 16 when they turn 17. I know these will all be stories someday. And our pictures will become old photographs. We'll all become somebody's mom or dad. But right now these moments are not stories. This is happening. I am here and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you're not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you're listening to that song and that drive with the people you love most in this world. And in this moment I swear, we are infinite. - quote #2 Till then, readers..
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